yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yo dont text me then not text me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
