OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
