TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
