Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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