The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got chris browned last night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think my moral compass just broke
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
