areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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