She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
