$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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