tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
zippers are such a cool invention
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
