What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
