Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize