You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
