There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
