Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My room smells like vodka and shame
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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