Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
