forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
