Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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