Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
