fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
