don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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