Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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