stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
