never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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