I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
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No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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