when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
