i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
