i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
