i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
