I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
