I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
