Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
