It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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