I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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