Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
