doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
