Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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