she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
