chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
