Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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