Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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