i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
