I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
