Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I had to cum in my sink.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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