so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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