i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
