Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
