I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
