There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
