hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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