I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
