i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
