Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
