So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
