just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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