i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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