Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
