It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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