the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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