i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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