the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
