Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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