Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
