Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
