i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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