I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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