Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
