well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
cat food counts as protein by the way
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
