Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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